he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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