Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
