Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
