It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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