im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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