brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
