Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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