you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
