how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Someone signed my nipple.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
