You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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