Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
