Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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