He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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