She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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