Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You're like the curious george of whores
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
