So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
