If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
