Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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