he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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