I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
