She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
