Nicole vs. Life
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You ruined the universe
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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