everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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