me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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