her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
