If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
