I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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