these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
