Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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