she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
