i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
