Your tits are I can't wait for
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
