I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
