Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
