I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
