Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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