the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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