I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
