You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
