You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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