after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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