I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
