Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
