Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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