Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
