Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
