This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
