That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
