I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
