bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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