the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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